


An "Ugh" Letter

by wugs



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M, extreme eye communication, omgcp love letter challenge, tfw u violate ur crushes privacy but it works out ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 18:20:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7585093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wugs/pseuds/wugs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dex is a secretive sap and Nursey is an incorrigible snoop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An "Ugh" Letter

  
[Folded paper with “UGH” written on the back.]

 

 _I really shouldn’t open this_ , Nursey thought to himself. Dex had seemed pissed enough when Nursey had come back from his afternoon class and walked in on him writing. But “Dex” and “writing” put together made him burn with curiosity.

Dex hadn’t really put much effort in hiding it, to be honest. The two sheets of paper were ripped out of the notebook, but folded and put back inside it, and the notebook itself had just been put on the shelf with his textbooks.

Nursey spotted it the instant he got back in the room because it was the only notebook that wasn’t full-sized for note taking in class. He grabbed it off the shelf, noting that one of his pens was sitting on Dex’s desk as well. They borrowed each other’s stuff all the time since moving into the attic together, but Nursey knew Dex also had about fifteen of the same boring pen so he could always have his familiar brand available, whereas this was one of Nursey's unique writing pens that each had a different feel to them. (He liked this pen for being not too thin, but still a little scratchy.)

He held the folded paper in his hand, debating whether or not to read it. He had no clue what Dex could possibly be writing, or why it would make him angry that Nursey interrupted him earlier. It couldn't be homework, could it? _Maybe he's taking some writing workshop and keeping it a secret from me!_ Derek thought. The idea that he could get a glimpse into Dex's writing style is what pushed him to maybe sorta invade his privacy just a little bit.

Derek realized he had made a mistake as soon as he saw his name.

> ~~Derek~~ , ~~Nurse~~  
>  Nursey,
> 
> How the hell am I supposed to write this? Fuck. I guess you’ll never read it so it doesn’t even matter, huh? _(Derek snorted.)_
> 
> Even buying this stupid notebook made me think of you. How you actually have opinions on types of notebooks and paper quality and shit. I even took this pen off your desk. I thought that forcing myself to imitate you might make it easier to do this.
> 
> How do you spill your thoughts onto paper? How do you organize your mind? How do you pick such perfect phrases and images that capture it all so well? You’ve only shared some of your weirder writing with me — my fave was that poem about the sleepy bear who accidentally prevents international thermonuclear warfare — but I can still see that you know how to pick how you say things **precisely**. _(_ I wish it were that easy _, Nursey thought.)_
> 
> I’m procrastinating. Derek, I love y————
> 
> SERIOUSLY? That’s when you walk in. Such an asshole and you don’t even know it. Well you’re off now I guess.
> 
> I love you.
> 
> Jackass.

Fuck. Fuck. _Shit._ _He **loves** me?_ He really shouldn't have read this. He really, really shouldn't have done this. And he's just standing at Dex's desk in shock, and Dex could walk in at any moment. Nursey started to panic. He'd been handling his crush on Dex pretty well, if he said so himself. He had maintained bro-y contact without getting weird. He had given Dex space when he seemed to need it. They were _friends_ and they were getting along well. If Nursey had caught even a whiff of Dex's interest, he might have said something or done something. But Dex has been... Dex. Normal!

Nursey had worried that maybe _he_ had done a little too much staring every now and then. He'd worried when they moved into the attic that maybe he'd have trouble living so close to Dex, but it hadn't been that bad, actually. Nursey had practice at schooling his crushes into platonic friendships. It wasn't a big deal.

But now? Knowing how Dex felt? Fuck, it would be _impossible_.

He'd come this far in invading Dex's privacy, so he decided to look at the second page as well.

> It’s fucking hard to share this too-small attic when all I can think about is how our friendship is finally really strong. And how stupid I am for loving you. We live together and play together and somehow adopted Ransom & Holster’s Netflix night habit. And I love it but I hate it because I’m a piece of shit and I want more which just ruins everything.
> 
> I love the crinkle you get when you’re writing and trying to find a word. I love how your eyes are both green and gray. I love your stupidly perfect eyebrows and your middle-aged-man stubble when you don’t feel like shaving. I love seeing behind the chill, like I’m special.
> 
> And I hate that this is all I can think about and I don’t think you even fucking realize how gone I am.
> 
> So this is my sappy love letter. Because I’m not all anger and yelling even if that’s exactly how I feel writing this. And I hope writing it down gets it out of my system and I can start being more realistic or something
> 
> Sadly not yours,
> 
> Dex

Derek slowly folded the letter back and put it in the notebook. He went to his desk and sat in shock. He realized he had shed a tear or two reading the letter.

Not only did Dex, did _Will_ , think about him romantically, but he was fucking aching over it. He was lovesick, and Nursey had been trying to shove down his own crush and be cavalier about everything. Nursey mocked himself, but Dex seemed to be hating himself over it, thinking that saying anything would ruin their friendship.

Nursey's heart was breaking, and he knew he had to talk to Dex. He'd schooled his face, but his emotions were still running wild when Dex got home. He seemed perfectly at ease to Nursey, throwing a natural "hey man" his way. He wasn't sure what else he expected — after all, as far as Dex knew, his secret was still locked away in that notebook.

How the fuck do you broach this topic? If Nursey went with his gut, he'd let the Romantic in him out and just kiss Dex, but he had a feeling that Dex might not react positively to that. Short of that, he thought about writing a letter of his own, but that seemed awkward and Dex might misread it or panic and avoid it.

"Hey, Dex?" Nursey began the conversation without thinking about what he would say at all. He figured if Dex could play his game and write his feelings, then he could do the same and dive headfirst into something with nothing but his conviction to guide him.

Dex was working on some programming homework and turned around in his desk chair. "What's up?" Nursey knew his eyes probably looked sad when he saw just how very normal Dex's looked. Without reading the letter, he wouldn't have had a clue about how Dex really felt.

Nursey took a steadying breath, and looked him in the eyes. "I love you, too."

A million emotions invaded Dex's calmness. Surprise, fear, betrayal, and guilt were among the most evident, but Nursey saw some hope in his eyes too. He opened his mouth with a fixed look in his eyes that meant the words weren't going to be pretty or nice.

"Wait!" Nursey stood up. "Just let me say my piece before you get angry." Dex's eyes flashed another five emotions, most of them fiery, but he didn't say anything. Nursey continued as he paced back and forth. "When I came home and saw you writing, I was curious. You know me and writing. But you were so angry, so I left again. I knew you had an evening class, and I hoped you'd leave the notebook, which you did. I thought maybe you were taking some writing class or were secretly a poet and didn't want to share. So I was a little selfish and I know I broke your trust doing it, but I opened the notebook to read what you wrote and found the letter."

The look in Dex's eyes were something akin to a worst fear coming true, which made Nursey hurt even more, so he spoke quickly. "I shouldn't have, but I read the whole thing. I didn't know how you felt before that. You hadn't let on a thing! You say I'm clueless, but I've been crushing on you for a year, Will." Dex's eyes went a little wide at that. "A whole year of cellies and locker room dancing and now sharing an attic. I know how you've felt, man. Seriously. Well, except I honestly thought you were straight but I'm pretty sure you knew I was bi from all the jokes I made with Holster. And I'm a sap, you know it. I've written _poems_ about you."

Nursey continued to rant on about his feelings. He wasn't as good at this as Dex. When Dex went off every sentence expressed something specific, whereas he felt like he was just spewing a year of pent-up frustration without any direction, like a released balloon. He wasn't even paying attention anymore, which is how Dex managed to come up to him, stop his pacing, and draw him into a kiss.

Derek could write a book of poems about the eight seconds encompassing their first kiss. The surprise of being kissed silent. The relief of knowing Will was on the same page as him. The calm and confidence of Will's mouth and the fire and passion of his own. The list of poetic reversals that had occurred in the last few hours continuing into the kiss. The feel of Dex's slightly rough fingers against the nape of his neck and the muscles of the small of Dex's back that he explored under the hem of his shirt. The sound of their mismatched breathing.

The look in Will's eyes as they parted told Derek that reading the letter hadn't been a mistake after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [sufferbot's love letter challenge](http://sufferbot.tumblr.com/post/147801114368/the-check-please-love-letter-challenge).
> 
> Come yell at me on tumblr, I'm [wuqs](http://wuqs.tumblr.com).
> 
> Absolutely none of this was planned; it was exactly as haphazardly done as it seems. Honestly, I'm not a huge fan of "hey I violated your privacy to find out you liked me but it's cool bc I like you too, let's bang," but it just sorta happened and I just sorta let it. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Crossposted to tumblr [here](http://wuqs.tumblr.com/post/147969515524/i-was-feeling-particularly-sappy-and-i-wrote-a).
> 
> edit: changed to Teen for language? idk it just felt wrong saying G-rated but saying fuck this much


End file.
